


Endings And Beginnings

by knitekat



Series: Endings And Beginnings [1]
Category: Primeval
Genre: Angst, Brain Damage, F/M, Het and Slash, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Illness, Memory Loss, Out of Character, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-24 09:08:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1599395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knitekat/pseuds/knitekat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lester is attracted to both Abby and Ditzy (OC) and it is mutual, but before any decisions can be made, he falls ill. Will Lester recover and will the fledging relationship last?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks go to Fredbassett for the beta and for letting me borrow David 'Ditzy' Owen.

Lester rubbed his temples and sighed as he waited for his team to arrive for yet another, no-doubt thrilling, debriefing with the annoying professor and his bunch of misfits. Just what he needed after yet another night without enough sleep. The bloody persistent headache that had woken him in the early hours, before keeping him awake for most of the night, still hadn't taken the hint and vanished.

His thoughts turned back to the meeting and a smile flicked across his face as Lester realised it would mean he'd get to see Abby. As far as Lester could tell, she was the only one of the team who'd lined up the day common sense had been handed out. Obviously Cutter and the others had been too busy if their antics were anything to go by, especially Connor.

The smile grew as he allowed himself to think of Abby. He admired her, the way she'd stand up to him if she thought he was wrong. Her spunk and loyalty. The way she could grab his attention ... Lester stopped those thoughts. They were not ones he should be having over a young slip of a girl. What would Abby think if she found out? That he was a dirty old pervert and she'd be right. Lester gave himself a mental shake. _No happiness that way, old man._

*****

Abby rolled her eyes at the petty argument Nick was trying to have with Lester. Her lips twitched at the way Lester effortlessly shot down Nick's latest harebrained suggestion. She loved the way Lester could enter a room and command the attention of everyone there. It made her ... she blushed slightly and kicked Connor when he smirked at her. What had ever possessed her to tell Connor the truth? Although, would she have found out about Lester if she hadn't?

*****

Once the team had left his office, Lester sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. He should have known better after all this time. He might have known that Cutter would make the meeting dissolve into arguments. Lester wasn't sure if the man did it deliberately or if he just couldn't accept that he wasn't always right.

Lester knew he should have just taken his headache tablets before the meeting. He sighed. Had he realised just how annoying the mad professor was going to be he might have done, even if it had meant taking them too soon after the previous dose. Even an overdose would have been better than listening to Cutter's grating voice in counterpart to his still-pounding head. With a sigh Lester began to root through his desk. _Where the hell did I put them?_

A gentle knock had Lester peering blearily up at the Special Forces Medic, Lieutenant Owen, or Ditzy as Lester remembered he seemed to prefer.

“You look like you could use these, sir.” Ditzy spoke quietly as he held out his hands to Lester.

Lester blinked at the glass and tablets Ditzy was offering him, before he smiled as he quickly downed the tablets. His eyes closed as he waited for his headache to recede. Bloody hell, Ditzy was a real lifesaver. Not to mention that he had a fine body that Lester wouldn't mind getting to know personally. It was just such a pity the soldier was tragically straight.

*****

Ditzy's cock twitched at the sight of Lester with his head thrown back as he downed those tablets. The way his throat worked had Ditzy trying to shift into a more comfortable position as he imaged Lester swallowing around him. It was a pity that Lester was married with kids. He wouldn't look twice at another man and, considering how ruthless Lester could be, Ditzy would find himself off the project and in some dark and inhospitable hell-hole if he even suggested that he fancied Lester. Ditzy left quickly before he could embarrass himself, a good, long, _cold_ shower would sort him out.

***** 

Lester pressed the heels of his hands hard against his eyes. _Just how bloody long does it take for these bloody useless painkillers to kick in?_ The lights in his office seemed to be trying to pierce his skull and scoop out his brains. At least, that was what it felt like, and if it ended the pain, Lester would even welcome it. _Fuck! They're not working. Maybe if I try to work? Try to take my mind off of it?_

Reaching out for one of the pens on his desk Lester looked up as his fingers close around air. He glared at the pen and then at his hand – several inches from where the pen was. _What the fuck?_ His second attempt ended up knocking the pen to the floor, where Lester just glared at it, he certainly wasn't going to bend down to get it and set off his nausea.

Lester glanced at the time as he twitched the first document off the pile. He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes as the words swirled and danced in front of him. _Great, not enough sleep and my eyes start playing tricks. Another sign I'm getting old._

A sharp rap on the door had Lester wincing as he looked up at Claudia, blinking several times before he could focus on her. “Yes?”

“Sir James? Are you feeling all right? Your face is flushed and you're sweating ...” Her voice trailed off.

Lester frowned as he glanced at the clock. _How the hell did I lose 10 minutes? Maybe my lack of sleep is catching up with me?_

Claudia managed to sound both calm and concerned as she continued, “Do you want me to call Lieutenant Owen, James?”

Lester waved her concern off. “I'm fine. Just a bit of a headache.” At that moment the ADD screamed and Lester gripped his head in both hands as he moaned in pain, the sound stabbing deep into his brain.

“James?” Claudia didn't sound convinced and Lester felt her hand on his shoulder. “I'm calling Lieutenant Owen.”

“No! I'll be fine.” Managing to produce one of his much-practised smiles, Lester continued, “I'll take some painkillers and meet you at the ADD.” When she didn't move, he sighed, “Please continue with you job, Miss Brown, and let me do mine.”

Lester sighed again once Claudia had reluctantly nodded and left him. He must have dozed off, although not for the several hours of sleep that he knew he'd need to get rid of this fucking headache. He rubbed his eyes, _work comes first, dear boy_ , he thought as he fished out some anti-nausea medication and swallowed it dry. _Hopefully, I can just send the annoying professor and his Scooby Gang out and be done with it_. Rising to his feet, Lester felt nausea rising in his gut as the room tilted and swayed around him. He swallowed and held onto his desk in a vice-like grip. _Must have got up too fast. Take it easy, old boy_.

Once his nausea settled and his office stilled, Lester made his way down to the atrium, although he trailed one hand along the banister as his balance still felt off. His steps slower than normal, Lester's heart sank as he neared the ADD. The address flashing up was familiar. Too familiar. He closed his eyes and sighed. _So much for a few hours sleep on my couch_. “Claudia, please call my car.”

“Sir James?”

“Bryan Henderson is a bastard to deal with, but he is an old... acquaintance of mine.” Lester noticed that Cutter raised an eyebrow but the man had the decency to stay quiet, for once. “It will be easier if I just deal with him and his... questions.”

*****

Lester sighed as his car pulled up at the anomaly site and ended his few minutes of respite from the outside world. He could already see Henderson blustering about and trying to throw his considerable weight around. Lester was going to enjoy this.

“Well, well, well. If it isn't my old friend Bryan Henderson. I do hope you aren't bothering the ladies?” Lester's words oozed with condescension.

*****

Abby watched in admiration as Lester soon had the annoying businessman stammering and turning a rather unattractive shade of red. The man was obviously not happy to see Lester and soon stormed off as fast as he could waddle. Abby raised an impressed eyebrow, “That was effective, even for Lester.”

Ditzy shot Connor an interested look when the younger man muttered. “Henderson's the reason that Lester's now divorced.”

“Got money has he?” Ditzy couldn't help asking.

Connor nodded. “Rolling in it, why?”

Abby snorted. “He'd have to be, Con.”

*****

After Henderson, the rest of the operation had been easier than Lester had expected. Well, if one ignored Temple managing to fall into the ornamental pond. At times, that boy was a menace to himself and to others. He really had no idea what Ryan saw in the young geek and he'd concluded that it must be the soldier's protective instincts kicking in.

Lester sighed as his head pounded, at least the chaos of the anomaly had distracted him from his headache. Now, in the calm after the storm, he could only hope that watching the clean-up operation would give him the time he needed to gather his tattered control. He really didn't want to yell at someone just because he was in pain. Shivering as his skin began to crawl, Lester wrapped his coat tighter around him. He swallowed convulsing as his nausea returned as he watched his car seem to rhythmically grow and shrink in size.

“It's all tidied up, sir. Sir?” Claudia sounded concerned, “Sir James? James? Are you feeling OK?”

Lester managed to nod and instantly regretted it. He spun and held onto something as he began to vomit. His head pounded even harder with his movements.

He could hear Claudia's voice but the thudding in his head drowned out the meaning of her words. Lester heard another known voice: male, calm and controlled. Cold hands held Lester's head, the coolness soothing his pounding head. Then he jerked his head free as something stabbed into his eyes, the pounding in his head mounting to an excruciating pitch as nausea rose in his gorge.

*****

Claudia became alarmed when Lester paled and swallowed convulsively before he almost collided with a wall as he spun and began to vomit. She supported him and became even more concerned when he didn't respond to his name, instead moaning as he held his head.

“Lieutenant Owen! Ditzy!” Claudia called out, worry making her voice shrill.

Ditzy hurried over and quickly took charge of the situation. His hands were gentle as he examined Lester, even though the man was not cooperating with him, pulling away when Ditzy tried to use his penlight to examine Lester's eyes. The rest of the team gathered nearby out of a mixture of curiosity and concern.

“Looks like a severe migraine, Miss Brown. A good night's sleep should sort him out.” Ditzy rummaged through his kit before pulling out some tablets. “And some painkillers.”

Claudia nodded as a thoughtful look crossing her face. “I'm not happy with the thought of Sir James being by himself, Ditzy.”

Abby quickly spoke. “My place isn't far. He can stay there for the night.” She trod on Connor's foot when he grinned at her.

“If you're sure, Miss Maitland.”

“Yes, I am, Ditzy, and please call me Abby.”

Ditzy nodded before considering Lester again. “Right, just get you on your feet, sir. Nice and easy. No sudden movements.”

Abby stepped forward to help, adding. “My car's just over there.”

*****

“Up the stairs and to the left.” _And in my bed_.

“Right. One foot in front the other, sir. That's good.” Ditzy's voice was calm and encouraging as they manoeuvred Lester into the bedroom and onto the bed.

“He can't sleep like that.” Abby pointed out. _Hopefully_.

Abby smirked as she noticed Ditzy swallow hard before agreeing with her. _Interesting, very interesting_. Abby found herself swallowing as well as she helped strip an unresisting and seemingly unaware Lester to his boxers. Her fingertips lingered on the revealed skin until a cleared throat broke her attention.

“Will you be OK with him, Abby? I can give you my number if you want, in case you need it. Not that I think anything will happen.” 

Abby returned her gaze from the man now sleeping in her bed. “Um. Yes. Thanks.” She blushed slightly at Ditzy's knowing smile.

“I'll see myself out, Miss.”

*****

Rex chirped as he flew around the room.

“Rex! Please come here.” Abby whispered as she patted her lap.

Rex landed with an inquisitive chirp then he seemed to notice the man lying motionless in his Abby's bed.

“Shh, Rex. Don't wake him.”

With a hop, Rex took up a position on the headboard, folding his wings back with a chirp as he joined Abby in watching the sleeping man.

Abby's hand rested on Lester's back, stroking lightly as her thoughts ran around the fact that this could be her chance to see if he was interested. Especially now she knew he was unattached.

As a soft moan caught her attention, Abby continued to stroke his back, “Easy, James. Just take it easy.”

*****

The incessant thudding in his head woke Lester, although he was groggy enough that it took him several moments to realise he was in a strange bed and wearing very little. It took some time longer for him to realise that he was sharing it with an equally undressed Abby. Blinking in confusion, Lester moved too fast and the room began to spin around him. He moaned as his head felt like it was going to explode as his headache shifted up several notches.

Gentle hands stroked down his back, fingers pressing hard into his spasming muscles as a voice he know was Abby's spoke calmingly to him. “Easy, James. Just easy. Shh.” He felt a kiss on his bowed head and buried it against her as he sought to escape the pain.

*****

Abby smiled softly as she held Lester in her arms, maybe he was interested in her?

She stroked her hands down his back and felt his muscles start to relax as he drifted asleep.

A short time later, Abby felt Lester begin to stir and tightened her hold on him. “Easy James. No sudden moves. Don't hurt yourself this time, OK?”

Lester softly cursed as he remembered that painful awakening, although this one was barely less intense.

Abby smiled as she stoked her fingers through his hair. “Ditzy wants you to rest and relax. It'll help your headache.”

Lester moaned softly, his voice raspy, “Abby ...” He licked his dry lips before he continued, “Abby. What am I doing here?”

Abby tightened her hug, relieved that Ditzy had already told herv that Lester might not remember. “You had a severe migraine and Ditzy said you needed to crash somewhere. My bed was the nearest.” She smiled to herself at the thought.

Lester found he was too tired to even raise an eyebrow. “Where is everyone else now?”

“Err ... they've gone home.”

As the information sank in, Lester tried to pull out of Abby's arms. “We're alone?”

Firmly entrapping him in her arms, Abby smiled. “If I'd known you'd be this shy ...” Her hand stroked down his back until it rested on his boxer-clad arse. “You need to relax,” she told him as her hand slipped around to cup him. “Let me relax you, James.”

Lester groaned and pulled her down for a kiss. The medication Ditzy had given him served to dull that part of his mind that would have screamed not to. That she was too young. That he was too old. That this was an abuse of his position.

Their tongues duelled as her hand gently squeezed him. Lester groaned into the kiss as her hand squirmed inside his boxers and held him, squeezing him.

Abby grinned at the effect she was having on the normally oh-so-controlled civil servant, even allowing for the migraine and Ditzy's drugs. She pushed Lester back against the pillows as she slowly kissed her way down his body, her hand still busy in his boxers. When her lips touched the material, Abby twisted her fingers and pulled the boxers off when Lester helplessly raised his hips. Grinning at him, Abby teased Lester's cock as her other hand fondled his balls. “Just let me take care of you, James.” She slowly licked him, before she took him into her mouth and gently sucked. Abby took her time as she drove all thoughts of pain from Lester's mind.

Lester thrust helplessly into Abby's mouth and groaned at her touch. “Oh God, Abby ...”

Abby smiled around her mouthful as she swallowed the bitter liquid and then licked him clean, her tongue very thorough. She grinned at his muttered curse as she felt him respond. Leaving him half-erect, Abby kissed him and shared his come with him. “So, James? Feeling better?”

Lester couldn't help smiling at her. “I don't think Ditzy would've recommended that treatment.”

Abby smirked as she kissed him again. “Well, no, but would you want Ditzy sucking you off?” A thoughtful look crossed her face as she remembered Ditzy's hands lingering on Lester's skin. “Hmm ... though that would look rather hot.”

Lester quirked an eyebrow. “You're just blown me and now you want to set me up with a bloke?”

Abby smiled as she stroked his cock to full hardness. “No, not really. I want you to fuck me.” She kissed him. “We can think about you doing it with a bloke later.”

Lester groaned and closed his eyes. “God, what did I do to deserve this?” He yelped when Abby's hand squeezed him hard, before groaning deeply when she settled onto his cock. His hands found her arse and pulled her tightly against him. Thrusting up to meet her, his lips found and gently sucked a nipple.

*****

Early the next morning Lester was woken up by his usual annoyingly painful headache. After a moment, chirps penetrated his consciousness. He paused, chirps were new. He slowly opened his eyes to see Rex staring back at him. _Why is Rex looking at me?_ He blinked slowly as he tried to make sense of the previous night.

Abby wrapped her arms around Lester as she nuzzled against his neck and kissed his jaw. Her voice was sleepy as she said, “Don't think too hard about it.”

Lester expertly masked his pain as he rolled over and smiled at Abby before he dropped a kiss on to her nose. “If you say so...”

Abby grinned mischievously. “We could always talk about you doing it with Ditzy, if you prefer.”

Lester rolled his eyes. “What is it with you trying to set me up with a bloke?”

Fully awake now, Abby carefully considered her new lover. “You've been with men...?”

“One night in bed and you want to know my sexual history?” He sighed when he saw her expression. “Yes.”

Abby leant on her elbow and said, with disappointment colouring her voice, “Oh ... you're gay. I'm sorry, last night, I shouldn't of ... you weren't yourself.”

Lester kissed her again. “It's OK, Abby, I like both men and women.”

“Useful. So, do you like Ditzy?”

Lester laughed. “You really do want to set me up with a bloke? I'm not sure if I should be annoyed or pleased.”

Abby grinned. “You should laugh more.” She kissed him. “I just think it would be hot watching you with another man. And with me, of course.”

“Of course.” Lester grinned back. “Kinky aren't you? You don't even know if Ditzy goes with men.” He raised an eyebrow. “Or do you?”

“I've seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching.”

Lester blinked in shock before a slow smile appeared on his face. “He does?”

Abby raised an eyebrow, “Can I assume you like him too?” She tapped her lip, “Interesting.”

“It is? I thought you wanted me for yourself?”

“I do, but I find the thought of you and Ditzy together rather... hot. Just thinking about it...”

“You really are kinky, I never would have guessed.”

As Abby swatted him, her gaze fell on the bedside clock and she raised an eyebrow. “Do you normally wake up at 5 am?”

Lester sighed. “I have been recently. It's just a bit of insomnia. Why don't you go back to sleep until the alarm?”

Abby considered him thoughtfully. “What about you?”

“I usually need to get up and potter about for a while.” He smiled softly, “I have been cleaning but...”

“Oh, house-trained? It'll make a change from Connor. Poor Ryan, I feel for him having to deal with that mess.”

“Do you miss him?”

“No...” Abby sighed, “Yes. But he's happy with Ryan.” Her fingers trailed down Lester's chest. “And I've got you here.”

Lester chuckled before pressing a kiss lightly against her lips. “Try and get some sleep. I'll try not wake you when I come back up.”

*****

Lester sighed softly as he leaned over the sink in Abby's kitchen, swallowing as his stomach churned alarmingly. The tablets he had taken didn't seem to be working, but then again, they never seemed to, not recently. A cold shiver ran down his back as his thoughts turned maudlin. _What if this is something more serious?_ He shook his head and swallowed hard as his nausea grew, _No, its just old age and lack of sleep_.

*****

Abby woke with a start and glanced around the room as she tried to figure out what had woken her. Her eyes fell on the clock and she swore, it was 6 am and she was alone. “If you've fallen asleep on the settee, James...”

She smiled as she entered the lounge and saw that Lester was indeed asleep on the settee. Completely naked. It was a very nice view. Abby shook his shoulder, “James. I'm sure my bed is more comfortable.” She shook him harder when he didn't respond. “James?”

Lester blinked and looked up at her worried face. “Hmmm?”

“Are you feeling OK? You didn't answer me when I called you.”

“What?” Lester's eyes fell on the clock, “Um. Yes. Fine. I must have dozed off.”

Abby didn't look convinced as she followed Lester back to the bedroom. With some of her attention on her lover's arse, she noticed his collision with the door frame and his near stumble as he recovered. “I just need to get a glass of water, James.”

****

Lester sighed softly as he flopped back on the bed. _Well, this is a turn up for the books, old man. A young slip of a girl interested in me? And, apparently, a rather hot man as well. I'm a lucky bugger_.

*****

Taking a deep breath as she dialled the number, Abby waited impatiently for it to be picked up.

Ditzy's tired and irritable voice sounded over the line. “Finn, if you've...”

Abby cut him off, her voice quavering slightly, “Ditzy, it's me.”

“Miss Maitland? Is there a problem?”

“I'm worried about James. I can't put my finger on it, but I just know something's wrong.”

There was a pause on Ditzy's end of the line, then, “I'll be over in half an hour, Miss.”

“Thanks, Ditzy. I... thank you.”

*****

Abby wasn't sure whether she could wait downstairs for Ditzy to arrive. Should she really leave James alone? Sighing, she put the door on the latch and went back upstairs and stopped in the doorway of her bedroom. Lester had his arms wrapped around his stomach and was looked very pale and sweaty.

“James?”

“Feel sick.”

“Hold on.” Abby grabbed the bowl she had put out the previous evening and positioned it beside Lester. Her fingers gentle as she caressed his face. “I've called Ditzy.”

“I'm fine.”

“Yes, James. You're gone white and are sweating, not to mention feeling sick.” Abby ran a hand through his hair as she held him against her. “Just rest.”

*****

Abby gently stroked Lester's hair as he lay curled up in her bed. She glanced up at the clock wondering were Ditzy was and sighed as she realised it had only been fifteen minutes since she had phoned him. Returning her attention to Lester, Abby jumped as she heard her front door open.

“Miss Maitland?”

“Up here, Ditzy.”

Ditzy paused in mid-knock on the bedroom door as his eyes travelled over Lester's body. He licked his lips before blushing as he met Abby's grin as she said, “Like what you see, Lieutenant? 

“Um.” Ditzy shook himself, he wasn't here to ogle Lester, no matter how much he wanted to take his time just looking at him. “Can you tell me what happened, ma'am?”

Ditzy's question wiped the smile from Abby's face and her voice wavered, “James woke up earlier with insomnia and got up for a while. I must have drifted off but when I woke up he wasn't back. I found him asleep on the settee but he didn't respond at first when I tried to wake him.” She took a deep breath, “When we came up here, he walked into the door frame and then stumbled. That's when I called you. I came back to find him pale, sweating and feeling sick. What's wrong with him?”

Ditzy nodded as his expression grew thoughtful, “Did anything else happen?”

Abby shook her head, “No, I think that's everything.”

Ditzy nodded again as he gently shook Lester's shoulder. “Sir James?” When Lester just moaned and shifted position on the bed, pulling the covers down to expose the top of his arse, Ditzy had to bite his own lip as he tried to will his erection away.

Abby snorted softly. “I can see that you like what you see.”

Ditzy began to blush as he muttered. “Um.”

Abby grinned at him. “Well, James likes you.”

Before Ditzy could think of an answer, a muffled mumble from the bed got their attention as Lester woke up. Lester frowned as he looked at the time; he didn't remember going back to bed.

Abby stroked a gentle hand through Lester's hair. “Morning, James. How are you feeling?”

Lester blinked at the concerned face of Abby and then noticed Ditzy loitering in the doorway, “Fine. What happened? Why is ...” He paused, a look of concentration on his face, before he pointed at Ditzy. “He here?”

“Abby found you unresponsive downstairs and then feeling ill in bed, sir. I'd like to give you a quick examination, if you don't mind.”

“You would?”

“Yes. Abby's been worried about you, sir.”

Lester glanced over at Abby and realised just how worried she looked. “Fine. If it will make ... her ... stop worrying about me.”

“Thank you, James.”

Ditzy crouched next to Lester to check his eyes. “Hmm. Have you hit your head, sir?”

“What? No.” Lester paused for a moment, “I don't think so, why?”

“Your pupils are different sizes, sir. I think you might have a concussion. I'd like to book you in for a medical exam. Just as a precaution, sir.”

Lester looked from one set of worried eyes to the other and sighed. “OK, fine. But I want a ...” Lester paused again as he concentrated hard. “What's it called? You know, you stand in it under the water spray to wash yourself?” He looked at both his companions who looked slightly blank at him, before he finished his sentence. “I want a thingy first.”

Ditzy nodded. “One of us has to be with you, sir. In case you have another episode.”

Abby smothered a grin as she spoke. “Ditzy, can you do that? I wouldn't know what to do.”

Ditzy shot her a startled look. “OK, sir. Let's get you showered.”

*****

Ditzy stood with his back to Lester and did his best to think of anything but the sounds of Lester in the shower. Unfortunately, his mind was conjuring up some very nice images and Ditzy's cock was showing a definite liking for those images.

Lester's cry of “Fuck!” had Ditzy spinning around just in time to stop Lester overbalancing. Holding a soaking wet and naked Lester in his arms wasn't helping Ditzy's composure one bit.

“OK, sir?” Ditzy didn't release his hold even though Lester nodded.

“I don't need your help.”

Ditzy reluctantly let Lester go, but watched him like a hawk in case there were any other problems.

Lester finished and raised an eyebrow as he noticed Ditzy's obvious interest. “So, you do like me.”

“Um.”

Lester moved into Ditzy's personal space and pressed a kiss against his lips.

Ditzy kissed back for a moment before he grasped Lester's shoulders. “No, sir. We shouldn't.”

Lester pouted and, as he started to dry himself, Ditzy could have sworn that the man was sulking.

****

Although the drive to the hospital had seemed to be never ending at the time, they had arrived all too soon for Lester. His fears had gnawed at him now that both ... bloody hell, he knew their names, he knew he did. Why couldn't he think of them? He could almost see them, dancing just out of his reach and flowing like mist through his fingers as he tried to grasp them. Lester could feel himself becoming frustrated by his lack of success and winced as his headache grew. He rubbed his forehead as he mentally sighed. Fine, he'd no doubt remember them latter and he had other things to worry about. At least ... great, the name still eluded him, um ... at least he who had been driving, knew the people here and Lester found himself rushed through the preliminary tests. He supposed that was a good thing, although he couldn't help the feeling that it wasn't.

*****

Lester scowled as he pulled the hospital gown tightly closed, his fist bunching the material behind him to prevent it gaping. _Why hadn't someone designed a more concealing one?_ He didn't like walking around wearing it, he might end up flashing the wrong person. _Knowing my luck, it would be ... my memory really is rubbish today, yet another sign that I'm getting old. Right, think. Come on, think. He's annoying, he always argues with me even when he knows he is wrong ... come on, what's his name? Screw it, him. Now if it was ... fuck, what if this memory loss isn't old age? What if it's something more serious? Why else would I forget the names of those two I want to be with? She with the fierce heart of a protector, and he of the cold hands and warm heart? Now I won't mind flashing those two_.

A soft snicker had Lester look up into the laughing eyes of his fierce protector. “I'm glad you find it amusing,” he groused.

“Sorry. How did the tests go? What happens next?”

Lester sighed. “They're setting up a scan.”

“What? Why?” Abby asked in alarm.

Lester gave her a small tight smile as he squeezed her hand. “Apparently some of my results are suspect. I'm sure it's nothing.” Once again Lester concentrated with a frown on his face, “Um ... you.” He waved a hand at Abby, before sighing in frustration, “Your name ... I know it ...” He sighed as he settled for his first choice, “You, my fierce protector, please don't worry about me. Everything will be fine.”

Abby raised an eyebrow at Lester's words and she looked so worried that Lester pulled her against him, pressing a gentle kiss against her hair.

Ditzy knocked on the open door to announce his presence before he joined the hug. His eyes were worried as he met Lester's equally concerned gaze.

****

Abby and Ditzy sat waiting for the scans to finish. Time seemed to be dragging as Abby kept looking repeatedly at her watch while Ditzy paced restlessly.

When Ditzy sighed softly, Abby looked up at him and grinned. “So, how long have you fancied Lester?”

“What?”

“He's attracted to both of us.” Abby smirked at Ditzy's caught-in-the-headlights expression.

“So that what he meant in the shower. That I did like him.”

Abby nodded. “It makes sense if we can get along, Ditzy.”

Ditzy shook his head and chuckled. “I wonder what Sir James would think of us planning his love life.”

Abby grinned. “Willing to share him, Dit... David?”

Ditzy paused in thought for a moment. “You are assuming he'd want to share. I know we've kissed, but ...” He shook his head. “I don't think we can take what happened to mean he wants to share. It probably meant nothing.”

Abby looked up sharply at him. “You think James would play ...” She stopped and looked worried. “You think it was something to do with his headaches and everything.”

Ditzy nodded. “We can't rule that out, ma'am.”

Abby grinned. “James didn't say no when I asked him earlier.”

“When you ...” Ditzy spluttered to a halt. “You asked him about me?”

“It came up in conversation.”

Ditzy grinned at her. “Bloody hell. If I wasn't gay I'd kiss you.”

Abby smiled. “You can anyway, David. Do you want to try it? The three of us? Together.”

Ditzy nodded. “If you do. If Sir... if James does.”

“Deal.”

Ditzy glanced at the clock and then at the door before glancing at his own watch.

“This is taking too long, isn't it?”

Ditzy heard the quaver in Abby's voice and sighed softly as he nodded. “I'll see what I can find out.”

The door of the waiting room swung open before Ditzy could move and two sets of eyes looked up expecting to see Lester. Instead, it was Mr Harrison, Lester's consultant. His serious expression wiped the grins from both Abby's and Ditzy's faces.

“Where's James?” Abby asked, sounding scared.

Mr Harrison gave them both a reassuring smile, one that made Ditzy feel just as scared as Abby had sounded. “I'm afraid Sir James collapsed and began to seize after his scan.”

“What? Is he OK?” Abby began to shake and welcomed the comforting arms of Ditzy as the soldier held her close.

“How is Sir James?” Ditzy repeated the question.

Mr Harrison ran a hand through his hair. “I'm afraid we don't know yet. As he was continuously convulsing before becoming unconscious, we decided it was best to perform emergency surgery immediately. I will keep you informed once I know more.”

Abby let out a sob and turned to bury her head against Ditzy. Her voice muffled, “I've ... we've only just got James. We can't lose him. Not now.”

Ditzy began to rock Abby gently. “We won't.” Although he didn't, he couldn't, feel as sure of that as he wanted Abby to believe.


	2. Gathering At The Bedside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby and Ditzy find out what is wrong with James, as do the team back at the ARC. Evveryone gathers to his bedside to wait for his to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks go to Fredbassett for the beta and for letting me borrow Ditzy.

Abby sniffled in Ditzy's arms, exhaustion finally having won in her fight to stay awake. Ditzy sighed softly as they waited for news, any news. He wondered if he should inform Miss Brown of developments. He hesitated, unwilling to call when he had nothing to report. Nothing but bad news and no updates.

A soft knock on the door had Ditzy looking up, hope and fear warring in his heart at the sight of Mr Harrison. The consultant's expression gave nothing away to Ditzy as he gently shook Abby's shoulder.

“Ugh, another 20 minutes.”

“Abby? Mr Harrison is here.”

Abby shot awake at that, wide eyes staring at the consultant, fear evidence in her every fibre. “How's James?”

Harrison's smile was well practised. “James' operation went as well as can be expected.”

Abby closed her eyes and whimpered, clutching Ditzy's hand hard enough to make him wince.

“What do you mean? What did you find?” Ditzy tried his best to sound calm and in control. Abby needed him to be strong, even if what he wanted to do most was scream and shout at the unfairness of it all, now that he might – now that she did – finally have James, they couldn't lose him, not now.

“The MRI scan showed a mass in James' brain. It was the most likely cause of the headaches and the other symptoms he described to me.”

“What symptoms?” Ditzy's voice was sharp. _What symptoms had I missed? Could I have got James here earlier? Before he collapsed?_

Harrison flicked through the notes in his hand. “Since James has listed both of you, and a Miss Claudia Brown, as his next of kin, I...”

“He did what?” Abby couldn't keep the disbelief out of her voice.

“You aren't his next of kin?”

Ditzy and Abby exchanged a look, before Abby managed. “We're his lovers; well, Miss Brown isn't, she's his deputy.” She ignored Ditzy's look of surprise as she named him as one of James' lovers.

Harrison took that revelation in his stride. “When James arrived, we gave him a full physical and neurological examination. The symptoms we diagnosed and that he informed us about were ...” He scanned his notes again. “Yes. Headaches that woke him in the night and were increasing in intensity and duration; nausea and vomiting; vertigo and loss of balance; problems with his eye-hand coordination; difficulty in reading and finding the correct words, drowsiness and seizures where he lost time.”

“And this mass caused them? And the unconsciousness? But James will be OK now it's gone, won't he?” Abby's voice sounded so small as she sought hope. Any hope.

“All the symptoms were caused by the mass putting increasing pressure on James' temporal and parietal lobes.”

“What's the prognosis?” Ditzy decided to cut to the chase. All this discussion and going around the houses wasn't doing either Abby or himself any good.

“The neurosurgeons are confident that they've removed the entire mass and a biopsy has been sent to our labs for testing. Once we know exactly what type of tumour we are dealing with we can organise whatever follow up treatment is advisable.”

Ditzy slowly nodded. “Chemotherapy or radiotherapy you mean. James had a brain tumour.”

“Cancer?” Abby clung to Ditzy's hand. “Will James be ... will it come back?”

“Once we know the results from the biopsy we will know what we are dealing with and the chances of it re-growing or anything else we can expect to deal with.”

“It might come back?” Abby's guts twisted in fear as she wished it was a physical enemy she could kick and punch.

“It is possible. Some tumours keep reoccurring even after complete removal. They do tend to be the benign sort.” Harrison sighed. “However, whatever type it is, James will require regular check ups and scans for the rest of his life.” At Abby's expression, he added, “As a precautionary measure.”

Ditzy nodded. “We'll make sure he gets them.”

“There is one more point.” Harrison paused. “It is possible, due to the tumour itself or the surgery to remove it, that he might have brain damage.” Harrison paused for a moment, “Although it is unlikely, considering the position of the tumour, I must also warn you that James might never regain consciousness.”

Tears ran down Abby's face as she looked at Harrison in shock. Ditzy didn't feel any better as he asked. “Do you think he will wake up?”

Harrison sighed. “I think the probabilities are that James will regain consciousness, but I'd be failing in my duties if I didn't inform you of the possibility.”

“James should wake up?”

“Yes, Miss Maitland. He should.” Harrison sighed again. “Once James is awake we will be running tests to discover the extent and degree of any damage he may have suffered.”

“Brain damage?”

“It could have been worse, Abby, and we don't know if there is any.”

Abby nodded as she swallowed her fear. She couldn't, wouldn't let James learn how terrified she was. Now she knew it was a possibility, she couldn't help the fear that James would never wake. She needed to see James, to touch him and make sure he was still there, still with them. “Can we see James?”

“Of course.” Harrison raised a hand as Abby shot to her feet, “However, I must first inform you what to expect.”

Abby slowly crumpled into the chair and felt Ditzy squeeze her hand as she quavered, “Expect?”

Harrison nodded. “I know you'd rather be sitting with James, so I'll be brief, although I'm happy to answer any questions you might have.”

“I'm sure we will, but first Abby and I want to see him.”

“Of course. Now, when you see James, please remember that he may be able to hear every word you say. If you have any questions about his care or condition, please talk to us outside the room.” When Abby and Ditzy nodded in agreement, Harrison continued, “As to James' appearance; you do understand he has had major surgery?” Seeing them nod again, Harrison continued, “He is, currently, on a ventilator to help his recovery, but we expect to wean him off it shortly. He is also connected to a number of monitoring devices and tubes, including an IV drip. I should warn you that some of these are connected to his head, but they are entirely normal for the operation James has undergone, so please try not be alarmed by them.”

As Abby was looking rather pale by this stage, Ditzy nodded. “Anything else before we can see James?”

“No, please don't be alarmed by James' appearance, he really is in the best of hands.”

*****

Abby stopped dead in the doorway when she saw Lester. He lay so still and pale and all she wanted to do was run as far and as fast as she could. To pretend it was all a terrible nightmare and that everything would be fine once she awoke from it.

Although Harrison had warned her, Abby still felt nauseous at the sight of those tubes coming out of the dressing that covered part of Lester's scalp and which drained into bags beside his bed. Her eyes took in the ventilator and the other tubes that she could see, a tube inserted into his nose and an IV drip. She didn't want to think about the other tubes and wires that were connected to her lover. He didn't look like the man she had fallen in love with, instead he seemed so small and frail.

Ditzy pushed her into the room and pressed her down into the chair. Reaching out he placed one of Lester's limp hands into Abby's. “Stay with James. I need to phone Miss Brown.” At Abby's confused look, Ditzy sighed. “She needs to know about James.”

*****

Nick grinned when Claudia entered the meeting unusually late. He was about to make a comment when he realised she was looking worried and preoccupied. Her red eyes made it clear she had recently been crying and Nick stood up and wrapped his arms around her. “Claudia? What's happened?”

Claudia rested her head against Nick for a moment as she allowed her lover to comfort her. Taking a deep, steadying breath, she pulled back and swiped her face, smudging her mascara. “Sir James is in hospital. He was having tests when he collapsed and started convulsing.”

Nick swore softly. “But he's OK?”

Claudia shook her head before shrugging helplessly, her voice strained as she replied. “He fell unconscious and they had to perform emergency surgery on him, Nick.” She paused to swallow, her mouth suddenly dry with fear. “They have removed a tumour from his brain.”

“Fuck!”

Claudia swallowed several times before she could continue. “He's still unconscious.” Her voice almost cracked. “Abby and Ditzy are waiting for the results on the tumour.”

“Claudia?”

Meeting Nick's eyes, Claudia own eyes were full of worry. “Hopefully James will be fine.” She sighed. “But there is a chance it could be highly aggressive ... if it is ...” Her voice finally broke and Claudia half-sobbed, “James might only have months ... or less.”

Nick took Claudia in his arms again as he sought to comfort her. “You know Lester. He's too bloody stubborn to give up.”

Connor cursed softly. He gave them a slightly guilty look at their querying expressions. “Abby's got a crush on Lester.”

Claudia managed a half-smile. “So that's why she was so happy to have him stay as her place?”

Connor nodded. “She was hoping to see if he was interested now he's available. She thought the migraine gave her the chance. But ...” He shrugged helplessly, his voice bitter, “It wasn't a migraine was it? It was a bloody tumour.”

Claudia squeezed Connor's shoulder and said with far more confidence than she felt. “No need to assume the worst, Connor. I'm sure James will be fine.”

*****

Nick knocked on the door that one of the nurses had directed them to. They were shocked when it was opened by a worried and obviously recently crying Abby, who flew into Connor's arms and hugged him hard. Connor awkwardly patted Abby's back and gave Claudia a scared look.

Claudia nodded before she cautiously entered the room and smiled in relief when she saw Lester sleeping peacefully, although the amount of equipment connected to him worried her sick. _Poor Abby, she must be so scared_.

Claudia carefully approached until she was next to the bed and raised her gaze to Ditzy. Her voice quiet, she asked, “Have you got the results back?”

Ditzy's eyes remained fixed on Lester's face for a moment before he looked up at Claudia. He pressed the call button and when the nurse entered, he said, “Please can you stay with James.” Ditzy waved the group out as the nurse began to check Lester's readings.

*****

Ditzy directed everyone into an empty waiting room and sat down. “Sorry, but we've been told to assume that James can hear everything we say.”

“Oh. I didn't know. I didn't mean...”

Ditzy smiled, “I know, ma'am. I should have explained over the phone.”

“It's perfectly fine, Ditzy. You have other things on your mind.” Claudia nodded, “Now, please. Why is Abby so upset?”

Ditzy voice was almost steady as he answered. “Some of James' readings were worrying. The pressure inside his skull was increasing. They gave him steroids to bring it back down, but they didn't have an effect. Not enough of one, anyway.” He took a deep steadying breath. “They performed another operation on him to insert a shunt to drain the excess fluid from his brain.” Ditzy swallowed hard before continuing, “It's why Abby's upset. She's afraid of losing James ...” As his voice cracked, Ditzy closed his eyes.

Claudia squeezed his arm as she realised something about the dynamics in Lester's room. Her voice soft, “And you, Lieutenant? Are you worried about losing James?” When Ditzy eyes shot open and he looked at her, his expression confirming her suspicions, Claudia sighed. “So. You're both attracted to James. Does he know?”

Abby managed a half-smile. “Yeah. He knows. David and I have talked about what we'd like to do, but ...” She took a deep breath, “We never got a chance to with James.” The fear she felt for Lester flashed across her face.

Connor exchanged a helpless look with Nick. No matter how much Lester was a pain in the arse, he was their pain in the arse. Connor wanted him back, and not just because his best friend was so worried about him.

Connor rubbed Abby's back. “You know Lester, Abs, he'll be up and around in no time and making our lives difficult as only he can.”

Nick nodded, “Aye, you know Lester. He'll be fine.”

Ditzy gave them all a smile of gratitude, although it faded as he said, “It's not just whether the tumour will return. We don't know if he's suffered brain damage or ...” His voice dropped to a whisper, “or even if he'll wake up.”

“Oh.”

Ditzy sighed, “I never thought James would be interested in me. To possibly lose him before I even get to properly know him.”

Claudia pulled him into a hug, “If you need to talk, David. You or Abby, I'm here for you both”

“Thanks, ma'am. Um. I almost forgot. Sir James named you as his next of kin, along with Abby and myself”

“He did what?” Claudia sighed, “I suppose he wouldn't want to list his ex-wife.”

Nick snorted. “I can understand that feeling.”

Abby looked up sharply. “What about his parents or his brothers and sisters?”

Connor shook his head, “There's no one, Abs. His parents and younger sister died years ago.”

Abby closed her eyes at that, “He's all alone in the world?”

“No, he's not, Abby. He's got you.”

“And you, Ditzy.”

Ditzy shrugged and then took a deep breath, “Shall we go and see James?” As everyone nodded, he added, “Remember he can hear you.”

*****

Sitting in commandeered chairs the subdued group sat around Lester's bed.

Watching.

Waiting.

Listening to the steady bleep bleep bleep.

Watching the steady rise and fall of Lester's chest.

Being able to do nothing but will their stubborn boss back to them.


	3. What Happens When James Wakes Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ditzy thinks about their fledging relationship, he and Abby learn more about James' condition and James wakes up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks go to Fredbassett for the beta.

Ditzy entered Lester's room carrying two cups of coffee and smiled softly at the sight of an exhausted Abby. She had obviously finally fallen asleep, although, even now, she still held on to Lester's hand with a firm grip. As if holding her lover to this world, to life itself. Ditzy closed his eyes at the pain that thought brought, repeating _James will be fine, James will be fine_ over and over in his mind until he believed it.

Glancing at Abby, he paused to consider his options before deciding sleep was probably the best thing for her right now. He only wished he could get some rest, but he needed to be awake for his... what was James to him? True, he had expressed an interest in Ditzy, but was that just an effect of the tumour? Abby didn't think so, but... He sighed, if she was right, James was his lover-to-be? Maybe? He shook his head, maybe sticking with lover in his thoughts was easier, even if it did turn out to be nothing more than a pipe-dream and wishful thinking.

Ditzy drew up his own chair and watched his lover and the woman he would share him with. He sighed softly; this was not how he had ever thought he'd get together with Lester. Hell, Ditzy had never really given himself good odds of Lester being interested in him. But never in his wildest imagination had Ditzy considered sharing him with someone else, until now.

His mind turning to Abby again, Ditzy considered his... what was she to him? Not a lover, but his lover's lover. A co-lover, maybe? He shook his head, what Abby was – might be – wasn't important, not right at this minute. What did he really know about her? Abby was an asset to the ARC. She could handle herself in a crisis. She had more common sense than the rest of the field team combined. She was also obviously attractive (even if she did nothing for him) and Lester was definitely interested in her.

Ditzy smirked, it might be interesting sharing the man he had long considered to be a straight-laced bureaucrat. Obviously Lester hid a lot beneath that image and Ditzy found himself eager to strip away the veneer to find the man beneath.

Glancing at Lester brought Ditzy's thoughts to a screeching halt. He closed his eyes, all his - all their - plans would come to nothing if Lester didn't wake up.

It had been a long, long night, sitting by Lester's bed with Abby once the other team members had been shooed out by the nurses. He and Abby had only been allowed to stay because he knew several of the consultants. They had taken turns to hold Lester's hand so he knew he was not alone. Talking to him. Letting him know they were there with him. That he was safe. Ditzy blinked his suddenly watery eyes as he remembered returning to the room to hear Abby begging Lester to return to them.

Ditzy became alert at a slight movement from Abby and he spoke softly, “Your coffee is a bit on the cold side.”

Abby grimaced as she drank it. “Ugh”.

“I did warn you.”

“Any change, David?”

Ditzy shook his head, “I'm afraid not.”

A soft knock on the door had both heads turning towards it. Mr Harrison peered around and said, “Morning. How about some breakfast while the nurses give James a wash?”

*****

Abby picked at her food until Harrison's commented. “If you don't look after yourself, Abby, you won't be able to look after James.”

Her head jerked up as Abby inquired cautiously. “Mr Harrison? How is James?”

Ditzy added, “Did you get the results back?”

Mr Harrison smiled. “James' chances are excellent. The mass we removed was a large convexity meningioma.”

“A what?” Abby still sounded scared and leant into Ditzy's comforting embrace.

“Ah, yes. It is a form of benign tumour that grows on the surface of the brain and is non-invasive. The symptoms James experienced were from the pressure that the tumour exerted as it pushed aside his brain as it grew. We removed the entire tumour and the underlying dura and the lab results show that it is a Grade I tumour. That is the lowest grade.”

Ditzy sighed in relief. “So, the chances of it regrowing are...?”

“Low. It is a possibility, however, Grade 1 tumours of this type have less than a 10% chance of regrowing.”

Abby wiggled free of Ditzy's embrace and hugged Mr Harrison, tears flowing down her face as the consultant awkwardly patted her back.

Harrison cleared his throat. “James will still need those regular scans, Miss Maitland.” When she looked at him with frightened eyes, he added, “Just as a precaution.”

*****

Abby sat by Lester's bed and held his hand. “Please, James. Wake up. I need to hear your voice. Telling me everything will be OK.”

Ditzy closed his eyes and swallowed his fears. “Come back to us, James. We need you.”

*****

A hitch in Lester's breathing had Abby by his side in a heartbeat. “James?” A second hitch had her hitting the call buzzer.

A nurse hurried in. “Miss?” Not waiting for Abby to answer, she began to check various readings.

“His breathing hitched.”

The nurse smiled. “I think he's starting to wake up, Miss.” At Abby's hopeful look, she added. “I'll get Mr Harrison.”

*****

Abby and Ditzy sat once more in Mr Harrison's office, both of them torn between a desire to be with Lester and the need to hear whatever the consultant had to tell them.

“I know this is difficult for you both, that you would rather be with James when he wakes.”

“Since you know that, why are we here?” Abby sounded rather belligerent as she glared at Harrison.

“I need to inform you of what to expect when James wakes.”

Abby paled and clenched Ditzy's hand in a painful grip. He winced as he asked, “Which is?”

Harrison nodded. “Abby, David, you must understand that James' recovery is likely to be a long and slow progress. There could be long periods without any significant gain or even setbacks in his recovery.” He took a deep breath, “You must also be aware that James could be affected by permanent disabilities of one type or another.”

Abby had grown progressively paler during Harrison's explanation. “But he might not? Or they might get better?”

Harrison sighed, “The brain is a complex organ, Abby. Two individuals can suffer the same degree of damage but have very difference outcomes, it all depends upon how their brains heal or compensate for the damage. We just won't know how James has been affected until he is awake and alert enough for us to run various tests on him.”

Ditzy squeezed Abby's hand as he asked, “How could he be affected?”

“James has undergone significant trauma to his brain. When he wakes up he might not be able to focus on you; he may not respond to you; he might make random movements. As his condition improves, he may become aggressive or easily distracted; his memory might be impaired so he doesn't remember what has happened or even that you have spoken to him. He might have trouble speaking or moving as well as with carrying out simple tasks such as eating, dressing or bathing. Please remember that we don't know if James will suffer from any of these or to what degree, but you must be prepared for them.”

Ditzy winced as Abby tightly squeezed his hand. “But they will improve over time?”

Harrison nodded. “We have an excellent physiotherapy team here, David. They have already started James' therapy to keep his limbs mobile and to prevent bed sores. Once James is awake the therapy will cater to his particular needs with the aim of regaining as much of his former abilities as possible.”

Abby smiled in relief, “So James will be fine?”

“Even if James has suffered permanent brain damage his condition should improve with time and effort, but I need you to understand that he may never be the man you knew. As I said, it is going to be a long and slow progress and James will probably find it frustrating. It is common for our patients to lash out at people because of this, so it is important to remember that it isn't directed at you.”

Abby swallowed. “Do you think James will recover?”

“It is certainly possible, but I also have no wish for you to have unrealistic expectations. Until James wakes up, we can't tell how severely affected he will be.” Harrison ran a hand through his hair. “It is possible that he will never regain everything that he may have lost, that he will always have problems and limitations.”

“Thanks for your honesty, Mr Harrison.” Ditzy said as he hugged a quietly sobbing Abby. “James will be OK, Abby. We'll take care of him until he is, OK?” He looked up as Harrison, “Can we have a few moments alone?”

Harrison nodded. “Of course.”

*****

Abby sat by Lester's bed and gently squeezed his hand. “I know you can hear me, James.” Her voice wavered for a moment and she took a deep breath. “Squeeze my hand if you can hear me. Please, James.”

*****

Lester slowly woke to hear a bleeping that was in time to the throbbing in his head and groaned softly. He felt his hand being squeezed before he faded back into unconsciousness.

*****

Ditzy held Lester's hand and thought over what Mr Harrison had told him in private. That the location of the tumour Lester had wouldn't lead to changes in sexual behaviour. Ditzy smiled, it gave him hope that what had happened in the shower was an indicator of Lester's true feelings towards him.

“Come on, sir. Please, James. Open those beautiful green eyes for me.” He glanced up as he felt eyes on him and smiled at the new arrival.

Abby smiled softly back. “Any change, David?”

Ditzy sighed, “He keeps looking like he's trying to wake up. Abby's here to see you, James. Aren't you going to greet her properly?”

*****

Lester could hear half-recognised voices and the odd disconnected word. He felt as if he was floating on the ocean, bobbing on the waves. It was peaceful and calm, tranquil. But something told him he should be elsewhere. He grew worried as he couldn't recall where, but he knew he was needed. He began to struggle as the darkness returned, helpless as it wrapped around him and dragged him down with it.

*****

One of the monitor's buzzed and had a nurse rushing in to check on it. She took several readings as Abby and Ditzy watched with mounting fear. She looked up and, noticing their expressions, said, “Nothing to worry about, just a minor increase in his heart rate.”

“Minor?”

“I think he's dreaming, Miss.”

“A nightmare, you mean?” Ditzy squeezed Lester's hand. “We'll here, James. We'll keep you safe.”

*****

Lester's eyelids fluttered and he opened his eyes. He blinked several times as he lay still with his eyes open, although he didn't seem to be looking at anything. Just staring into space.

“James? It's Abby.” She gently caressed his face and smiled as he turned to look at her. “Hi.” Her smile faltered as she realised that Lester wasn't focusing on her, instead his wandering gaze was more over her shoulder. Abby took a deep breath and forced herself to smile and sound cheerful. “David's right, you know, you have the most beautiful green eyes. Like the sea. I could happily get lost in them.” Her voice trailed off as Lester's eyes seemed to focus on her own for a split moment before his eyes drifted closed.

*****

Lester opened his eyes and found himself in a room he didn't recognise. The sound of bleeping slowly penetrated his consciousness and he tried to find the source of the noise. It felt as if he was encased in thick mud as his head slowly turned to stare at a machine beside him. _Where the hell am I?_ He tried to remember. A soft smile appeared on his face as he remembered that morning. Being with ... who? He knew her name, why couldn't he remember? His fierce protector. And then learning that... he knew he knew that name too, but was too tired to think clevarly. He knew he, him of the cold hands yet warm heart, liked him too. More than liked him. The... the thing you stand in under spraying water. _But why am I here? Where-ever here is?_

A gentle hand squeezed his own, and an unfamiliar voice spoke to him. “James. I'm Sister Murphy. Can you hear me? Squeeze my hand, James.”

Lester thought that that was a strange request to ask him. He managed to focus on a dark blue uniform for a second and it just added to his confusion. _Where am I? Who are you? What's happening to me? Why don't I remember?_ Too many thoughts chased around his head for Lester to concentrate on, so he grabbed onto her words like a lifeline and followed them as best as he could.

“That's good, James. Now, I'm going to give you a sip of water. Take your time.”

The water felt cool and refreshing and Lester tried to obtain a second sip.

“Slowly, James. Slowly. Try another sip. That's good. Very good.”

_Why are you talking to me like I'm a ... young one?_ But Lester was too tired to ask and his eyelids fluttered close. Before sleep took him, he heard, “That's very good. Rest now.”

*****

Abby sat by Lester's bed, his hand held firmly in hers. “Sister Murphy tells me you had some water this afternoon, James.” She stroked his hair off his forehead. “That's good, James. Do you know what would be better? If you could open your lovely eyes and look at me.”

She held her breath as Lester's eyelids fluttered. “James? Please, look at me.”

Lester's eyes slowly opened and he blinked several times. As he licked his dry lips, Abby held a cup of water to his lips. “Sip it slowly, love. That's it.” She smiled as he gave a soft sigh. “Feels good, doesn't it?” Abby stroked his face as his eyes drifted close.

*****

Lester blinked his eyes open and stared in confusion around the room painted in sterile white. _Where am I?_

A soft voice spoke to him, “Morning, James. How do you feel?” When she didn't receive a reply, the voice continued. “It's Sister Murphy again. Shall we get you washed so that you're ready for your visitors.”

Lester pulled back his arm as he felt the warm wet flannel on his skin. _Who are you? Where am I? What's happening?_ His started to pant as panic took over and he curled into a ball and rocked.

“Easy, James. You're safe. You're in a hospital. I'm your nurse.”

Lester flinched as a gentle hand settled on his shoulder. The unknown voice continued to talk soothingly to him as the hand rubbed comfortingly on his back.

Slowly unfurling, Lester lay half-asleep as the voice spoke to him as warm flowed over his limbs and torso and lulled him back to sleep.

*****

Abby smiled as she saw that Lester was awake and entered with a cheery, “Hello, James. Sister Murphy. How is James today?”

“I'm afraid he in a bit of a bad mood, Abby, he had a disturbed night's sleep. But I'm sure seeing you and David will cheer him up.”

Abby nodded, “Thanks.” Once Murphy had left, Abby took a firm grip on one of Lester's hands. “I hope you've been a good boy for the nurses, James.”

Lester pulled his hand free and rolled over with his back to Abby.

Ditzy sighed from the doorway, “Bad night?”

Abby nodded as she rubbed Lester's back. “Murphy said it was. Come on, James. Please.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, “Right, how about David and I tell you about Connor's latest mishap?”

*****

Lester woke to find his legs being moved about and tried to speak, although only a hoarse grunt emerged. _Stop that!_

The young woman stopped and smiled up at him. “Afternoon, James. I'm Emma, your physiotherapist.”

Lester managed a second grunt. _You are?_

Emma pressed the call button as she continued to talk calmly to Lester. “We need to keep you mobile, James. OK?”

_We do? Why?_

“Emma?”

“Sally, our James is awake.”

“Hi, James. Remember me? I'm Sister Murphy.”

Lester was pleased that his third attempt was less of a grunt and more of a word. _No, I don't believe we've met._

Murphy patted Lester on the arm. “You're in a hospital, James and we're looking after you.”

_I am? You are?_ Lester felt his attention slip and his gaze drifted off to the side. He could hear the soft mummer of voices but didn't understand them.

*****

Abby's voice was soft as she sat beside Lester's bed. “Sister Murphy tells us that you tried to speak yesterday, James. That's good. How about waking up and speaking to me?”

She held her breath when Lester moaned softly and shifted position. She smiled as his eyes flickered open. “Hi, James. Do you remember me?”

Lester stared at her intently, even though his attention wandered slightly at times, and she could almost hear the whirling as he thought, but he didn't reply.

“I'm Abby.” Abby gently stroked his face. “You're in hospital, James.”

_I am?_

Abby held her lover's hand tightly as she saw Lester's attention wander. “James? Shall I tell you about yesterday?”

*****

Ditzy bit back a sigh as he watched the nurse try to feed Lester. His lover was having none of it. Lester was throwing what Ditzy recognised as a temper tantrum, he'd seen his three-year old niece do the same. Ditzy had just never expected to see Lester throw one.

*****

Abby closed her eyes as she sat beside a sleeping Lester. It had been almost two weeks since he had first opened his eyes but Lester's progress was almost non-existent. Abby couldn't find the hope to believe that he would get better. Lester's tantrums had made it hit home just how much her lover had lost and how far he still had to go. Her voice quavering, Abby whispered, “Please get better, James. I need you to get better.”

*****

Ditzy stirred the mash around the bowl before taking a bite. He wasn't willing to try feeding it to Lester until he knew it was edible. Surprisingly enough, it tasted rather good.

He glanced at Lester. His lover was propped up in bed staring at the blank wall at the bottom of his bed.

“James?”

Lester's gaze shifted momentarily to Ditzy before shifting to the bowl and back again.

“Are you hungry?”

Lester's focus wandered somewhat as he stared at the bowl, his hand shaky as he reached for the spoon ... and his hand closed around air several inches from it. Lester scowled as he tried again and again, his expression growing more and more frustrated as he failed every time. “Nnnnnnn.”

“No, James. I think I'd better do it this time. OK?” Ditzy had to bite his lip or laugh at the petulant expression on Lester's face. “Please?”

Ditzy smiled as his lover allowed himself to be fed. “There, that was OK, wasn't it?”

*****

It was three weeks later, well over a month from the start of the worst time in her life, that Abby saw the first real sign of hope when Lester's eyes opened and he smiled as he managed to focus on her face. Lester's voice was croaky, almost a whisper. “You?”

“Yes James, it's me.”

“Where?”

Abby swallowed. _Please, James. Be there._ “Do you remember being at my flat?” When he frowned, she continued. “What's the last thing you do remember?”

Lester's face took on a look of extreme concentration as he worried his lower lip.

“James?”

Lester hit the bed with a fist and snarled “Nnnnnn.” He shook his head, “Um... on tip of... tip of...” He looked around the room as if searching for something. “You know. Thing. Thing talk with, you use it to make words.”

Abby looked rather concerned as she nodded. “Yes, I know.” When Lester didn't look as if he was going to add anything else, Abby asked her question again, “What's the last thing you remember, James?”

With a look of intense concentration and growing frustration, Lester opened and closed his mouth as if trying to speak. He thumped the bed again and again until Abby caught his hand and held it firmly in her own. Finally, he said. “You and... and... him, him with cold hands yet warm heart, in the place where you live.”

A new voice broke into the conversation, “That's good, James. Do you know who I am?” Lester managed to focus on the new arrival for a moment before he shook his head. “I'm Mr Harrison, your consultant.” When Lester still looked blank, the man smiled. “I'm sure it will come back to you. Now, I want you to get lots of rest and take thing easy. I'll leave you and Abby alone for now.”

Abby squeezed Lester's hand again. “You should try to sleep, James. Doctor's orders.”

Lester managed a smile. “Stay with me?”

“Always, love. Me or David or one of the others.”

*****

“I'll be back later, love.” Abby gently kissed Lester's cheek as she left his room, letting the nurses and the physiotherapist look after him. Spying the person she wanted to speak to, Abby called out, “Mr Harrison.”

“Ah, Abby. Please come into my office.”

Almost before she was seated, Abby launched into her question. “What's wrong with James?”

“His speech? I've arranged for the speech therapist to visit him tomorrow after his afternoon nap.”

“Please, Mr Harrison. Just tell me.”

“I'm not an expert on speech, but James is showing the signs of a form of speech disability called Aphasia. The speech therapist will tell us exactly what type it is.”

Abby sighed. “It's caused by the brain damage you told us about, isn't it? Will he get better?”

Harrison nodded. “It is a form of brain damage, and the speech therapist will work with James to improve his ability to communicate with people.”

*****

Lester slowly became aware that he was lying in a bed with someone dozing beside him. Blinking as he recognised them he wondered, _Why is... my memory is still crap today. Right, let's think. He's annoying and always thinks he is right. He's a bloody pain. He... his name is... come on, what is it?_ Lester's attention wandered, _and where the hell am I, anyway?_ He tried to think, to remember. His head hurt... _fuck! I had an appointment at the... the... the... where the hell was it? Come on think, you know this. I know I know this. It's the place you go when you are hurt or sick for help. So what is it called?_ Lester sighed softly. _Right, what ever it's called, he... OK, call him warm heart for now... he made it. So, am I... where sick people go? But if I am, why is... um... fuck, the annoying one here and not fierce protector or warm heart? I should ask..._ before he could, Lester slipped back into sleep.

*****

“James. I really could do with you being back at work. I have no idea how you can get those people to do what you tell them to. They're impossible to talk to. I just don't know how you do it.”

“Yes, you do.”

“James?”

“Who else would it be?”

“It's lovely to hear your voice, James.”

Lester blinked open his eyes to meet those of... he just couldn't remember her name, even though he knew he should. She looked so pleased to see him that he frowned at her.

“James? Are you OK? Do you want me to get a nurse?”

“No. Why are you so pleased to see me?”

Claudia looked as if she didn't know whether to blush or laugh or cry. “Oh James. Do you know where you are?”

“No. Where am I?”

Claudia's smile faltered. “I think I better let Mr Harrison explain that, or Abby and Ditzy.”

“OK.”

Claudia managed to keep smiling at that, although Lester noticed that it was now somewhat fake. _What's happened?_

“Now, I've been told by your two lovers that I'm not allowed to tire you out.” Lester couldn't help his smile at that and received a proper smile from Claudia. “They'll be in later. I sent them home to get some rest, which is what you ought to be doing.”

*****

Lester blinked awake and looked around himself. _Where am I? Why am I in bed?_ He tried to get up but after managing to sit up, he felt too tired to move further. _Getting up shouldn't make me this tired? It didn't this morning and I was up at 5. I must have dozed off again._ He glanced around the room again, _except I have no idea where I am._

A soft knock on his door had Lester glance up at the dark-haired woman who entered his room with a warm smile. Her words were both soft and crystal-clear as she spoke to him. “Good afternoon, James. Remember me? I'm Moira, your speech therapist.”

Lester looked at her and shook his head. “No.”

“That's fine. How about we practice some more words?”

“Don't want to.”

“I understand Abby and David will be in later, don't you want to show them what you can do?”

Lester glared at her. “It's not fair.”

“No, James, it isn't. Now, shall we try some words? Can you point to... the door?”

Lester sighed before he tried to do as she asked, his frustration growing as he found he couldn't – he knew he should be able to do as she asked, but he just didn't know what he was supposed to be pointing at.

“James? Look at me.” Moira pointed at the door herself and smiled as Lester copied her. “Good. Now try, pointing at the bed.”

“Can't.”

“Please, James. Just try pointing at the door again.”

Lester thought hard and finally lifted his hand and pointed towards the door.

“That's right. Well done, James.”

Lester shook his head. “I should know them.” His fingers picked at his sheet. “It's not fair.”

Moira slowly pulled Lester into a hug. “No, pet, it isn't. Let me help you find those words you've lost.”

Lester sniffled slightly before nodding. “What's this?” he asked as he pointed to an object in his room.

Moira smiled. “OK, James. You can point at something and I'll name it for you, but later on I want you to name what I point at, OK?”

Lester nodded and he jabbed his finger at his chosen object.

“Bed.”

Lester mouthed the word before he repeated it. He spent some time pointing at various objects in his room and listening intently to Moira's responds.

A yawn from Lester had Moira call the session to a halt, although she smiled at Lester's expression. “You're not to tire yourself out, James. I'll be in tomorrow and we will try the point and name exercise again.”

“OK.” Lester nodded as he scrunched up his eyes in concentration before opening them and pointing at the door. “Door.”

Moira smiled. “One more, James, then you should rest.” She pointed to something and waited.

Lester ran through his memorised words as he sought to give the object its correct name. He glanced at the patiently waiting one who was helping him talk, and knew she'd wait until he named it or gave up. A few minutes later, with a cautious smile, Lester said, “Television.” He knew he was correct when a broad smile appeared on patient talker's face.

“Very good, James. Now, be good for Sally and rest for your visitors.”

“Night.”

“Night, James.”

*****

Ditzy sat by his lover's bed and held his hand. It was slow going, but Lester was waking up for longer and longer periods and seemed to be becoming more coherent. Even if his memory and speech were far from perfect.

A soft groan had him smiling, and he squeezed Lester's hand. “Morning, sir.” He lifted Lester's hand to his lips and kissed it. “How do you feel?”

Lester looked thoughtful before he slowly answered. “Up there... no, my... head?” When Ditzy nodded, Lester continued, “My head hurts.”

Ditzy leant forward and brushed a kiss on Lester's forehead. “Better?” When Lester gave a slight nod, Ditzy continued. “Do you know where you are?”

“No. Why does everyone keep asking me?”

Ditzy squeezed Lester's hand. “We're just concerned about you, sir. Do you remember you had a hospital appointment?”

Lester opened his mouth before he frowned and closed it again. Sighing he said, “About my... my... head? You wanted it examined?”

Ditzy smiled. “Yes.”

“It is OK?”

Ditzy nodded, “Yes. It's fine now.”

“Where am I?”

Ditzy paused before he looked straight into Lester's eyes. Harrison had coached them on this. “You are in hospital. You have had an operation. You are recovering.”

“Oh. OK.”

Ditzy swallowed hard at that response. Against his better judgement, he asked, “Aren't you curious as to what operation you've had?” When Lester just looked slightly blank at him, Ditzy forced a smile. “How about you get some rest, love, and we'll talk again when you wake up.”

“OK.”

Ditzy watched his lover fall asleep before calling a nurse to watch over him. Once outside he rushed into the nearby bathroom and let tears slip down his face. _Please come back to me, to us._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James isn't a good patient as he continues to slowly recover and he's shocked to find out how long he's been in hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks go to Fredbassett for the beta.

Lester glared angrily at the nurse who held his bowl in one hand and a spoon in the other.

“Please, James.”

Abby knocked on the door as she asked, “Afternoon. Hi, James, how are you today?”

The nurse smiled at her. “I'm afraid James doesn't want me to feed him.”

Lester scowled at the nurse. “I've been feeding myself since I was two.”

Abby sighed and held out her hands for James' lunch. “Let me try.” 

Once the nurse had left the room, Lester reached towards the bowl only to have Abby step out of his reach. His eyebrow arched as he opened his mouth before closing it. A look of frustration soon took over from the concentration, and Lester glared at Abby. “You! Give me the thing.”

“Mr Harrison says you're not to over do it, love.”

*****

Ditzy entered the room and stopped. Abby was sitting on the side of the bed with a bowl in one hand and a spoon in the other. Lester was sitting propped up in his bed with a stubborn look on his face and his arms folded.

“Come on, James. Open up and eat this.”

Lester rolled his eyes. “I'm perfectly capable of feeding myself.”

“Are you? You're still weak, sir.” Ditzy squeezed Lester's arm. “The staff here don't want you to tire yourself out and put back your recovery.” He leant forward to brush a kiss across Lester's forehead and whispered, “Abby's been so scared for you, sir, let her look after you.”

Lester eventually gave in with ill grace. “Any... any...” He shook his head before sighing, “Any things in air that people go on or things that move on lines and you can forget it.”

******

Luckily for everyone sake, it hadn't taken long for Lester to convince the nurses that he was capable of that task. Although seeing him struggle to control the spoon was almost heartbreaking and it was Ditzy's opinion that Lester had just worn the nursing staff down with a mixture of tantrums and his way with words, even if he couldn't always find the word he was looking for. At least Lester hadn't noticed their expressions as he'd been too busy concentrating on that once simple, but now exhausting, task.

Struggling with that and other simple tasks had frayed what little patience Lester had with imperfection, his own especially.

Lester was trying to balance his bowl and coordinate the movement of the spoon from the bowl to his mouth. As his concentration wavered for a moment the spoon missed the bowl by several inches. He scowled at it. Taking a deep breath he tried again, this time getting near to the bowl but still missing. After several attempts, Lester was getting agitated and his movements became more and more uncoordinated as his aim began to wander even more.

Abby smiled softly at him. “Do you want me to try, love?”

Lester glared at her, before he threw the bowl at a wall and screamed, “Don't be so fucking understanding.”

Ditzy entered in a rush, in time to see Abby turn away and bow her head as she refused to let Lester see he had upset her. When Ditzy saw the tears that spilled silently down her cheeks, he squeezed her arm in passing as he headed towards Lester's bed. His voice firm yet calm, Ditzy said, “No, James. No screaming.”

When Lester ducked his head and curled up it took all of Ditzy's control not to beg him for forgiveness. Mr Harrison had made it clear that they shouldn't tolerate any unacceptable behaviour from Lester. Instead, Ditzy turned away from him and guided Abby out of Lester's room, his heart heavy as he heard Lester's sniffles. It broke Ditzy's heart to see Lester like this, and he knew Abby felt the same way.

****

Ditzy sat in Lester's room and smiled as he thought about the rest of the team. How they had made up a rota to watch over Lester to make him and Abby take some reluctant time off. Before this had happened, Ditzy had never thought they cared that much about their cantankerous boss. _Shows how wrong you can be about people._ Lester was spending more and more time awake and his memory had improved in leaps and bounds. Even if his temper hadn't, especially when it came to performing everyday tasks. Ditzy understood that Lester was frustrated over what he considered his lack of progress, especially in his speech, but Ditzy had also noted that the man was improving. Oh, not as fast as his other mental abilities, but there was definite improvement. Enough to give both Ditzy and Abby hope for the future.

The other good thing, from Ditzy point of view, was that concentrating so hard on the simple tasks of eating, talking, walking, dressing and bathing meant that Lester hadn't asked about where he was or what he was doing in hospital. Ditzy dreaded the moment when he'd have to tell Lester, but he also knew he'd do it gladly if it spared Abby the pain. The last few months had been the worst time of his life and he knew it had been far worse for Abby; he had caught her sobbing several times and had just held her until she fallen asleep.

A soft mumble called Ditzy's attention back to his lover. “James?”

“Mmmmm.”

Ditzy smiled. “How do you feel?”

Lester slowly opened his eyes and smiled as well as his eyes slowly focused on Ditzy. “I've been better.” He glanced around the room and his face screwed up in concentration. “Where's um... she... one who was with you earlier? Fierce protector?”

Looking a bit miffed, Ditzy snorted. “What, I'm not good enough for you, sir?”

Rolling his eyes, Lester asked, “So... er.” He thumped the bed in frustration until Ditzy caught his hand.

“Calm down, sir. Remember your lessons.”

Lester took a deep breath as he'd been shown by the speech therapist and exhaled again, repeating the action several times. “Um... you. You.” Lester looked miserable as he pointed at Ditzy, his expression showing he had given up trying to find the words he had been looking for. “Are you going to call me 'sir' when we fuck?” He then gently tugged Ditzy down for a kiss, smirking at his stunned expression. “You were saying?”

Both men heard an appreciative whistle from the doorway, “Well. I was right... you two do look hot together.” Abby squeezed Lester's free hand and was tugged down into a kiss as well. “James... how do you feel?”

Lester smiled at both his lovers. “As I have just told um...” He glanced at Ditzy who nodded encouragingly. “Warm heart... I have been better.” He squeezed their hands. “My, up there...” Lester paused as he tried to find the correct word, before he sighed in defeat. “Up there still hurts and I'm tired.” He frowned at both of his lovers, his head cocked as he looked at them speculatively. “Is there any chance that either of you will tell me why I'm in a...” Lester paused again as he tried to think of the word he wanted, before he sighed, his need to know winning out over his need to find the correct word. “Place that people go to when they are ill? Without the fancy footwork everyone else is doing whenever I ask.”

Ditzy smiled at that response, so much more like the 'old' Lester. He felt Abby squeeze his hand as he took a deep breath. “You remember that I wanted your head examined.” At Lester's get-on-with-it look, Ditzy continued, “Part way through your examination you collapsed and seized.”

“When was this?”

“About three months ago.”

Lester mouthed 'three months' before asking, “What happened? What's wrong with me? Why can't I remember?” His voice rose until it was obvious just how scared he was.

Abby gripped Lester's hand tightly. “Easy James. You're fine.”

“Please?” The alien look of fear and pleading in Lester's eyes had Abby blinking back tears.

Ditzy took a deep calming breath. “You've had emergency surgery to remove a tumour.”

Lester sounded petrified as he said, “Thing think with and...” he stopped and became agitated as he couldn't think of how to describe the word he was looking for, before he managed, “Growth not wanted? You mean bad growth that hurts people and comes back?”

“No sir, it was benign and they removed all of it. You'll be fine.” When Lester swallowed and didn't look any less scared, Ditzy added, “I'll get Mr Harrison to explain it to you, OK?” He pressed the call button. When a nurse entered the room, Ditzy said, “Can you please tell Mr Harrison that James needs to talk to him?”

*****

“Good evening, James. Good evening, Abby and David.”

“We've told James and he needs to talk to you.”

Harrison blinked at Abby's direct comment before taking in the terrified expression on Lester's face. “Of course. If you two wouldn't mind waiting outside.”

“Why?” Lester managed to sound like a teenager with that comment and had his lovers exchange a concerned look at his uncharacteristic response.

“Because it means you can ask me whatever you want without worrying about upsetting your lovers.”

Lester blushed slightly at that. “Oh.”

Abby leant in and kissed him. “I'm afraid everyone knows about us, James.”

“Oh.” Lester said again as he watched his lovers leave.

*****

A cleared throat brought Lester's attention back to Harrison and he swallowed. _Do I really want to know?_

Harrison smiled in a rather reassuring way. “I'm going to be direct, James, because I think you can handle it. If you have any questions, please ask them. OK?”

_I can do this_. Lester slowly nodded. “OK.”

“Good. You have had a brain tumour but it has all been removed.”

Lester let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. “So, I'm cured? No... um...” He was too scared to worry about finding the correct word any more. “Bad thing that comes back?” _Fuck! Please say yes._

“It wasn't cancer, James.”

“Oh.” _It wasn't?_ Lester let out a relieved sigh. “What happens now? To me?”

“You'll continue to get better. It is a slow process.” Harrison paused as he noticed Lester looked like he wanted to speak.

“How slow? How much longer will I be here for?”

“It will take time, James. We have been helping you to get well.”

Lester nodded. “Learning to do things better.”

Harrison smiled. “From what I've seen so far, your mental abilities have improved tremendously. I have no doubt that you will regain all your former mental prowess.”

“And physically?” _Will I be able to look after myself? I don't want to have to depend on others just to live. Just look how long it takes me to eat or talk._

“That is why the physiotherapist is working with you, James. Your coordination, balance and ability to focus have all improved. But you mustn't overdo it, you have been in bed for a considerable amount of time and will get tired quickly.”

“I shouldn't have any problems?” _I've been independent all my life, I want a normal life._

“Emma, your physiotherapist, doesn't think so.”

Lester nodded before swallowing, “And my words?” _I need my words, I depend on them for my job. Will I..._ “Will I be able to go back to work?”

“Moira has been working with you on that. She's very pleased with your progress. As for going back to work, we will have to discuss that with your employer.” He raised a hand, “But not before Emma is satisfied with your endurance and then only for a few hours to start with.”

Lester wasn't impressed with that answer and glared sullenly at his consultant.

Harrison sighed. “It will take time, James, and I have been told you are not a patient man. You will have to be. No matter how frustrating it is. Promise me you will try.”

Lester swallowed before nodding. “I'll try.” _I will overcome it, no matter what. I can't, I won't be helpless._

“Good.”

“Mr... you?” _Please, tell me it's good news._

“Yes?”

“How often do I need to come back for check-ups?” _Please, let it be good._

Harrison snorted. “I see what your colleagues mean about impatience.” He saw the look in Lester's eyes and nodded. “You will need regular check-ups for rest of your life.”

“Oh. So, it can come back?” Lester could hear the fear in his own voice. _Please God, no._

Harrison squeezed Lester's arm, “The check ups are more to reassure you and your loved ones that everything is fine.”

Lester quirked an eyebrow at the consultant. “I thought you were going to be honest with me?”

Harrison nodded. “The type of tumour you had, James, rarely returns.” He raised a hand as Lester opened his mouth. “Precisely, it does so in 9% of cases.”

“So... it could come. Can it come back as a bad one?”

Harrison nodded. “Well, your mental capabilities are certainly fine.” At Lester's scowl, he sighed as his attempt to distract Lester failed. “Infrequently it can sometimes return in a malignant form. It is rare for it to do so. The check ups are mostly for reassurance, James.”

“Better safe than sorry.” Lester closed his eyes and turned his head away. “Thank you for being honest with me.” _This is too much._

“Maybe it was too early to tell you after all, James. I can see this has been too much for you. I'll send Abby and David back in.” He squeezed Lester's hand until he opened his eyes and looked back at the consultant. “You will be fine, James.”

***

Lester sat in his bedside chair and gnawed on his lower lip as he tried to think of the answer.

Moira gently took hold of his hand and squeezed it, “Stop chewing your lip, James. You'll only make it sore.”

“The name of the thing that you use to cut paper?”

“Yes, James. Do you know what is it called?”

Lester nodded. “Yes. I know up there... in... in my head but I can't find it.”

“Scis...”

Lester suddenly cut Moira off. “Scissors!”

“Good. Now, are you ready for your last one for today?”

Grinning at his success, Lester nodded.

“OK. How about, the thing that you use to write with?”

Lester's face screwed up as he concentrated and he started to gnaw on his lip again until Moira nudged him. “Sorry. Um... the name of the thing you write with?” Lester face cleared, “P...” He hit his bed with his fist, “I know it.”

“Calm down, James. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. That's it. Now, back into bed for your nap”

“What is the name of the thing that you write with?” Lester asked as he climbed back into his bed.

“Pen.” Moira pulled Lester's covers around him as he settled down in his bed. “Have a good nap, James.”

Lester nodded as he rolled the words around in his mind. “Book. Car. Vase. Fruit. Hospital. Knife. Fork. Spoon. Scissors. Pen.” He snuggled under his covers and repeated those words until he drifted asleep.

*****

Lester woke up to the sight of his two grinning lovers. “What's gone wrong now?”

“Claudia, Nick and Connor will be over later.”

“They know?” He sighed at the worried look his lovers exchanged. “Of course they do. They've been here.”

“And everyone else knows too. I'm afraid they all like you, James.”

Lester managed a wry smile at that. “They do?”

“Yes. Claudia's been worried sick about you.” When Lester looked horrified at that, Abby squeezed his hand and added. “She cares about you, James. They all do. I'm afraid you'll just have to get used to it.”

Lester sighed. “I suppose so.”

Ditzy snorted. “You're not worried that your image of being a stubborn pain-in-the-arse with a wickedly sharp tongue has been shattered, are you?”

“I suppose it would be a stupid thing to worry about, considering.”

“Yes, it would be.” Abby sounded so firm that Lester gave her a worried look.

“I think Abby's got your number, sir.”

“Hmmm.”

“Yes, so you'll have to behave, James.” Abby said as she leant down to kiss him.

“I'm sure I can be persuaded.”

Ditzy laughed. “I'm sure you can be, sir.” When Lester quirked an eyebrow at him, he added. “And I might even call you 'sir'.”

Abby looked from one to the other, “Have I missed something.” She folded her arms and looked miffed when the two men just laughed. “You've asked for it, James.”

“Me? What have I done? It was him.”

Abby caught Ditzy's eye before ruffling James' hair, her fingers hesitating when they encountered the shorter hairs where it was still regrowing. “You're the one who is at my mercy, love. Remember that.” When Lester leered at her, Abby groaned, “Not until you are better.”

Before Lester could think of a reply, a soft knock on the door sounded before Claudia, Nick and Connor walked in.

Lester quirked an eyebrow at them before a look of concentration appeared on his face and he gnawed on his lower lip. When Abby squeezed his hand he looked at her and sighed. “You, you and you, what have I done to be graced by your presence?”

Nick smirked as he hugged Claudia. “You got ill, James. That's what you've done. So how do you feel?”

Lester smirked back. “I never knew you cared.”

Nick smiled. “I've got used to your particular brand of arrogance, James. Now, how do you feel?”

“Tired and fed up with the damn bleeps.”

Connor looked bit puzzled, “How is that answering how you feel?”

Abby smiled softly. “He means that he fed up being here.”

“Unfortunately, he's got to put up with them.” Ditzy squeezed Lester's hand. “At least until he's well enough to be released.”

Claudia nodded. “Remind me to book you both time off.”

“Ma'am?”

“I'd assumed you'd want to look after James.”

“I...” Ditzy shifted his feet. “I'd like to, ma'am. But I have a job to do.”

“Ftt” Claudia said. “I doubt you'd be much good with half your mind on how James is. Ryan can borrow another medic for now.”

Lester blinked tiredly, before asking, “Don't I get a say in this?”

A chorus of “No” met his question and Lester just blinked at them. Claudia continued. “You are to concentrate on getting better, James, and doing what you are told by the staff here.”

Abby nodded as she squeezed Lester's hand. “And what David and I tell you at home. Mr Harrison is having a program of exercises drawn up for you once you're home.”

When Lester looked rebellious over that, Claudia raised an eyebrow. “Don't be a bad patient, James. It could be a lot worse.”

Lester met her eyes and nodded. “I know.” He sighed softly before smiling at his two lovers, “I suppose I can put up with it.” Leaning over to kiss Lester's forehead, Claudia softly added. “You're lucky to have two people who love you, James.”

Lester smiled softly. “I know that, too.”


	5. At Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James is back at home as he continues to recover with the help of his lovers and friends.

Lester sat on the settee in their front room with one of Moira's exercise books in his hands. He sighed as he glanced over at the clock and rubbed his tired eyes. He'd already spent over half an hour on this one question and he was still no nearer to solving it than when he had started it.

He sighed. _I should have finished this entire puzzle by now. I used to be able to complete ones much harder than this in a few minutes. Bugger it, I'm never going to get better._ Lester scrubbed at his eyes as he blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. _No. No self-pity. You're bloody lucky and you know it. It could have been worse. Far worse. Be grateful for what you have._

Lester closed his eyes for a moment as he sought to calm down, to focus. Turning back to the question that was succeeding in flummoxing him, Lester tried to think of the word he was looking for. A few moments later he gave a sob of frustration as he threw the book across the room. _I fucking know it!_

“James?”

He looked up to see Ditzy standing in the doorway with Lester's book in his hand. Lester ducked his head as he realised he'd almost hit Ditzy with it. “Oh. Sorry. I...” Lester's voice dropped to a near whisper as he admitted, “I got frustrated.”

“You've got to control your anger, James. This time you missed me, next time...”

Lester nodded. “I know. I... it's just so frustrating not knowing the right words.” He sighed. “I spent all my working life using words and now I can't even string a simple sentence together.”

“I'd say that sentence was fine.” Ditzy raised a placating hand when Lester glared at him. “Sorry, love. I shouldn't have said that.”

“No, it's true. Unless I try and name someone or something, I'm fine.” Lester sighed, “I suppose that's what makes it so frustrating, I can say everything else except those words.”

Ditzy glanced at his catch as he walked over to join Lester on the settee. He leaned over to kiss Lester on the lips before he showed Lester the book. “How about I read with you?”

Lester took the opportunity to snuggle up against the man he thought of as his lover. _Oh, we might not have actually made love yet, but that's a minor point, and one I hope to change as soon as I can convince... fuck my memory, I can convince... fine, warm heart that I'm better. But for now..._ Lester gave a reluctant nod, _the more I practise, the better I'll get. I hope._ He opened the book and stared hard at the words as he tried to figure out what they were. _I have to get better, I have to. I just have to._

Lester didn't realise he was shaking until Ditzy squeezed his arm and took the book from him. “How about we try some of those exercises that Moira suggested instead?”

Lester nodded. _I might as well, I'm not getting anywhere with the bloody book._

“Ready? What about... hmm. I know. What are these – tiger, giraffe and lion?”

Lester racked his mind, _tiger, giraffe and lion. Come on. It's... it's..._ He only realised that he was gnawing on his lower lip as he concentrated when Ditzy nudged his arm and held his hand instead. “Um... I know it... word, what's the word?”

“Do you want a clue?”

 _I suppose so, its not like I'm going to get it by myself, is it?_ Lester gave another reluctant nod.

“An.”

 _An? An bloody what? Come on, think. Think._ After a few minutes, Lester shook his head and murmured sadly, “I can't remember.”

Ditzy pulled Lester against him and kissed his hair. “It's OK, James. Let me give you another clue. Ani.”

 _I know! I actually know this one._ Lester cried out, “Animal.” He had a wide grin on his face as he twisted around and grabbed Ditzy for a hard kiss. He was almost bouncing in excitement as he asked, “Can we try another?”

Ditzy grinned. “If you celebrate like that.” He looked around the room for inspiration. “Chair, table and settee.”

 _Um. Chair, table and settee. I know it, it's... it's... gone._ “Um... I know it, but I can't think of the word.” Lester took a deep breath as he tried to relax as he'd been taught as he searched his memory for the missing word. Opening his eyes, he shook his head at Ditzy. “Can I have a clue, please?”

“Of course you can, love. Fur.”

 _Fur?_ “Some animals have fur.” _Great, where'd that come from?_

Ditzy's lips quirk, “They do, but that's not the answer I'm looking for. Do you want to try again?”

 _Of course I bloody do._ Lester nodded, “Fur? Chair, table and settee are Fur ... fur.” _I can't think, it's gone, just..._ He shook his head again, “I can feel it just out of reach.”

“Furniture.”

“Furniture. Furniture. Furniture.” Get in there. _Chair, table and settee are furniture._ Lester looked up at Ditzy beseechingly, “Can I try again? Just one more. Please?”

Ditzy smiled at him, “Anything. OK. Er. How about ... banana, apple and pear?”

 _Great! I know this one._ Lester grinned as he answered, “Fruit.” At Ditzy's raised eyebrow, he added sheepishly, “Did that one in the...” He closed his eyes in thought. “Hospital?”

“With Moira?” Ditzy snorted. “Considering the amount of fruit you got, I'm not surprised you can remember that one.” He pulled Lester in for a quick peck on the cheek, “Well done, love.”

*****

Lester smiled as he stood at the hob and stirred the chilli con carne. _This is going well. The first meal I've cooked all by myself, since... the incident._

“That smells lovely, James.” Abby's voice made Lester jump as she spoke behind him. Arms wrapped around him as she added, “Sorry. I didn't mean to make you jump.”

Lester looked at his meal. _Hmm, can I leave this for a moment? Yes, I think so._ He turned around and kissed Abby. “I hope you'll like it.”

“I'm sure David and I will love it.”

 _I hope so._ “Good, it's taken me long enough.”

Ditzy chipped in, “That's because you won't let me help you read the recipe.”

Abby pulled back slightly and gave Lester a critical look. “I trust you haven't been overdoing it.”

 _As if either of you would let me._ He shook his head. “No. Um.” Lester sighed as the name still escaped him, “Warm heart made me rest before I started cooking it.” He pulled his two lovers against him for a kiss. “I wanted to cook for you. You've both done so much for me.”

Abby had a soft smile on her face as she reached up to brush Lester's hair from his face, “You're worth it, James.”

*****

Connor leaned back on the settee and grinned at Lester. “OK, James?”

Lester had his arms folded as he glared at his unwanted visitor, “I don't need someone to watch me.”

“Hey. I didn't deliberately break my leg just to keep you company, you know.” Connor winced as he tried to shift his leg into a more comfortable position. “I just thought you'd like some company now Abby and David have gone back to work...” He looked up. “Oh, you convinced them to go back. You wanted to be alone. I'm sorry, James, I just thought you'd be lonely by yourself.” His voice little more than a whisper, “I know I am, being stuck in the house all day without Ryan.”

Lester sighed. “I suppose we could keep each other company.”

Connor grinned. “What do you want to do? I've got some DVDs?”

“Future films?”

“Sci-fi? Um. Yes.”

Lester's lips quirked at the look on Connor's face. “Maybe later.” He reached under the table and pulled a box out.

Connor smiled, “OK. Scrabble. I can do Scrabble.”

Lester's voice was soft and almost pleading as he asked, “And then you could help me with the names of the people I should know?”

Connor glanced up at Lester and his smile faded as his expression became serious. “Yes. I'll help you with people's names, James. Any time you want. I promise.”

*****

Lester sorted through his name cards on the coffee table as he tried to remember everything the no-longer irritating one... Con... Connor had helped him learn.

 _He's spent so much time with me. He's been so patient with my impatience, with my frustration and ... I might as well admit it, with my bloody temper tantrums. Going over and over words with me until I could get them correct. No-longer._ Lester shook his head. _Name, use his name. Um. Connor? Yes, Connor hadn't had to do that, he could have stayed at home watching his films._ For once, Lester found himself glad of Connor's accident-proneness, the young man breaking his leg had been a boon to Lester's recovery ... not that he would have wished a broken leg on anyone. Not even if it had helped him learn his words. Now, if only he could remember and work out which name belonged to which individual.

He glanced up as Ditzy sat down opposite him and asked, “Which one is Abby?”

Looking intently at his cards, Lester frowned as he concentrated. _Abby. Which one of you is Abby? I think it's that one, I think. I hope I'm right._ Finally pointing at the card he thought was correct, Lester looked up at Ditzy with hope in his heart.

Lester breathed a sigh of relief when Ditzy nodded. “That's right. How about, Nick?”

“Annoying and often wrong one?” Lester smiled back when Ditzy laughed and nodded. _Right. Which one is it?_ Lester took several minutes to find what he thought was the correct one and pointed it out to Ditzy.

“That's very good.” Ditzy smiled, “Would you like a cup of tea before we continue?”

Lester continued to scrutinise his cards as he almost absent-mindedly nodded in reply to Ditzy's question. _Remember the name. Come on, no-longer irritating one... no, um... name, what's his name... Connor went over them enough with me. Come on. What is it. Yes! Is that it? I think so. I hope so._ He mouthed the word silently several times as he watched Ditzy walk towards the kitchen. _It is now or never._

Ditzy was almost through the kitchen door when Lester's voice brought him to a stop. He turned around and met Lester's eyes, “Could you repeat that?”

Lester swallowed in fear. _Did I get it right?_

“James, please. Can you repeat what you said? It's OK, love.” Lester ducked his head as he spoke, his voice soft and full of hope as he repeated. “Yes, thank you, David.” He cautiously looked up, “Did I get it right?”

Ditzy's face lit up in a grin as he came back into the room to hug Lester as he kissed him hard on the lips. “Yes, love. You got it right. So right. Abby will be so pleased to hear you say that.”

“Abby.” Lester frowned as he said the name. _Abby. Fierce protector's name._ “Abby. Abby. Abby.”

“Yes, James. Abby.”

They both looked up as the front door opened and clicked close and Abby called out. “Hi guys. I'm home.”

Ditzy dropped another kiss on to Lester's mouth before pressing a finger against his lips. “Abby? Can you come in here for a moment?”

A few seconds later Abby appeared in the doorway, her jacket half-off and a concerned look on her face. “James? David? Is everything OK?”

Ditzy nodded as he nudged Lester. “James?”

Lester looked between them before he ducked his head. _What if I can't get the right name?_ He felt his chin nudged up and looked into Ditzy's eyes. The confidence and love he saw there gave Lester the courage to try. _I can do this._ He took a deep breath and opened his mouth before closing it again. Lester could feel Ditzy's hand rubbing his shoulder.

“You can do it, James.”

 _I can? I can try._ Lester licked his lips nervously before looking up at the worried face of his fierce protector... _no, what was it._ “You're Abby.” He watched her... _Abby's?_ face as she froze and then blinked back tears. _Did I get it wrong?_ Lester ducked his head and then found himself with an armful of Abby as she hugged him tight.

“Yes, I'm Abby.”

*****

Lester caught himself gnawing his lower lip as he sought the word he was after. He glance up at Moira as she patiently watched him, before moving his gaze to Abby and Ditzy. His two lovers looked so hopeful and Lester's frustration grew at his inability to locate the wanted word.

“Take your time, James. Deep breaths, in and out.”

Closing his eyes in the hope that it would help, Lester began to shake as he still failed to find the word. He almost struck out as arms wrapped around him and a gentle kiss was pressed to his hair. Abby's voice was soft in his ear, “It's OK, James.”

Lester's eyes snapped open and his voice was bitter as he said, “No, it isn't. I can't think of the word.”

Moira smiled encouragingly. “It's fine, James. This is a tense situation for you.”

“I'll always have problems with finding the correct word when I'm under pressure?”

“It's likely. Just do what I've taught you and you'll be fine. Remember there's nothing wrong with describing out loud the word you are looking for.”

Lester looked down and closed his eyes as he sighed. “I won't be able to go back to my job.”

“What? Why not?” Abby demanded.

“It has lots of pressure and I'll forget my words.”

Lester could feel Abby's arms tightened around him. “Don't give up hope, love.”


	6. Returning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After convincing his lovers he's fine, Lester finds himself missing them. Ditzy comes home and the boys finally make love and Lester gets to return to the ARC.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks go to Fredbassett for the beta.

Lester flicked through the DVDs Connor had left behind, accidentally he assumed. Although with that boy he couldn't be sure, it was certainly possible Connor was trying to convert him to being a... what was it, oh yes, a fan of the various shows. Not that Lester had minded watching them, some of them had been rather good, but he wasn't about to tell Connor that. He'd never hear the last of it if he did.

He sighed. He was bored, after all his griping over being constantly shadowed by his lovers, he now missed their presence. Abby had been called in to help out with some animal that was giving birth and David hadn't got in from work yet. Lester rubbed his eyes. _Stop it! It could have been one hell of a lot worse. You're alive, you've got Abby and David, stop this pathetic whining for what you'll never have._

Lester glanced over at the Scrabble game still set up on the coffee table before he wandered over to softly vocalise each word as he ran his finger over it.

Lester was concentrating so hard that he let out a yelp as arms wrapped around him. He heard the soft voice of his lover in his ear. “Sorry, James. I didn't mean to make you jump.”

Lester smiled as he turned in his lover's arms. “I was just practising my words.”

“Oh. Do you want me to help you?” Ditzy leaned in for a kiss, “Or, we could do something else.” He waggled an eyebrow suggestively at Lester.

“Really?” Lester looked deep into Ditzy's eyes and rapidly continued as his lover quirked his eyebrow at him. “Um. Yes, I mean. Fuck, yes.”

*****

Even though Lester had been imagining this moment for so long, he still took his time to fold his clothes neatly. He licked his lips and felt his rock-hard cock twitch when he turned and saw Ditzy already lying on the bed with his cock sticking straight up and already leaking. _Finally! Thinking of which..._ “David?”

Ditzy looked up and met his eyes. “Oh, either way, love.” Lester shivered as his lover raked his eyes over his body. “But for now, how about I fuck that lovely, firm arse of yours?”

Lester folded his arms as he narrowed his eyes at Ditzy. “Would that be so I can just lie there and let you do all the work? I'm not fragile!”

“No. It's because I want to be inside you, making love to you. I have done for months.” Ditzy reached out a hand and tugged Lester onto the bed. “But, if you'd prefer, you can shag me.”

Lester gave his lover a sharp look. _Now, is that just to get me to agree or... fuck, does it really matter who shags who? How bloody long have I been waiting for this?_ He sighed. _Or is that the problem, that I'm afraid it won't be as good as I've been imagining?_ Lester started as a finger tip traced down his cheek.

“It'll be great whichever way we do it, James.”

“I'm not convinced of your motive, David.” _But I really want to make love with you._

“But?”

 _And I know what I want to do first._ Lester grinned as he ran a finger down his lover's cock, “I want this inside me.”

Ditzy leaned in for a kiss, licking along Lester's lips until he opened them to allow Ditzy access as their tongues tangled.

Breaking the kiss, Ditzy asked. “Do you want to roll over or stay on your back?”

“Oh, I think I want to see your face as you sink your lovely thick cock into me, splitting me wide open, before you fuck the come out of me.”

Ditzy swallowed hard. “Keep talking like that and this encounter will be over before it starts.”

Lester shrugged. “Then I'll shag you.” He nodded. “I can see it now. You begging me for it, your arse opening up for me as I drive hard and fast into it.”

“Bloody hell, James. I think you've been celibate too long.”

“It's hardly my fault that you and Abby didn't want to.”

Ditzy paused for a moment, “Now I don't know if I want to fuck you or have you do me.”

Lester tugged his lover in and nipped his nose. “Oh. You're so shoving your cock in me.” He gave Ditzy an evil grin, his hands groping his lover's arse. “And then I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk straight.”

*****

Lester grinned as he felt the blunt head push against him and then groaned deeply as the cock slipped into him, filling him as Ditzy bottomed out. It felt so bloody good as Ditzy, now truly his lover, moved in long, hard strokes. Lester knew he wouldn't last long – he'd been celibate too long and the feel of Ditzy's wide cock taking him was too intense as it nailed his prostate with each thrust.

His breathing came in gasps as he drew nearer and nearer to his climax. Lester arched upwards when Ditzy twisted his nipples and Lester felt his balls tighten as he came with a loud groan. He felt boneless as Ditzy continued to seek his own orgasm, thrusting several more times before he convulsed and shot four or five times deep inside Lester.

*****

Ditzy combed his fingers through Lester's hair as they lay with their legs entangled. “OK, love?”

“Fucking brilliant.”

“You're not tired?”

Lester opened an eye as he sighed. “A bit. Good tired. Feel so bloody good.”

“Good. Abby would bloody kill me if I'd jumped the gun.”

“No, but you have jumped my bones.”

“I think you've been watching too many of Connor's DVDs.”

*****

Lester woke from his doze and glanced at his still-sleeping lover. He carefully moved, watching Ditzy to make sure he didn't wake until Lester was ready. Prowling towards his target, Lester froze and glanced up as Ditzy moved, but his lover still slept.

With a grin, Lester grasped his lover's hips as he engulfed Ditzy's cock, swallowing him to the root. He held Ditzy firmly as his lover woke up with a jerk and a curse.

Lester smiled around his mouthful as Ditzy gasped as he sucked and teased and swallowed around him.

“Fuck! James. Feels so good. Yes. Oh yes.” Ditzy's fingers flexed in Lester's hair. “Oh. I'm going to come.”

Lester redoubled his efforts and was rewarded when Ditzy gave a low, dirty moan as the bitter fluid flooded into Lester's mouth and down his throat. Grinning as he milked every last drop from his lover, Lester nipped and kissed his way up to Ditzy's mouth.

They exchanged lazy kisses as Ditzy sought to find every trace of himself in Lester's mouth. He bucked up against Lester when he felt the hard cock nudge against him. “Please, James.”

Lester grinned as he prepared his lover with thorough fingers. Shoving Ditzy's legs against his chest, Lester lined up and slid inside. He gasped at the exquisite feeling of being held inside that warm, tight channel.

Holding Ditzy's ankles, Lester spread his lover open wider and watched as his cock slid in and out of the puckered opening. “You look so good, David, with my cock splitting you wide open.”

Lester pulled all the way out and watched as Ditzy's hole began to close. “You're starting to close up, love.” He pressed against the twitching opening and felt Ditzy buck against him. “Patience. Can you feel that, love? My cock pushing back inside you, sliding in deep.”

“Please, James. Fuck me.”

“Well, since you ask so nicely.” Lester began to pound into his lover's arse, hard and fast and deep and without mercy as Lester sought to give pleasure to the man who had given him so much.

Ditzy gave a low, dirty moan as he came and clenched hard around Lester. It felt so good to be moving inside that convulsing passage and Lester gasped as he followed his lover into bliss. It was everything he had imagined and more.

*****

Lester slowly woke and smiled as he felt his lover pressed up against him. His smile turned into a full grin as he remembered the previous evening. He and David had finally made love and it had been as wonderful as Lester had imagined it would be.

He smiled as an amused voice spoke from the doorway, “Well, looks like someone had a better night than I did.”

Lester twisted around and then grinned. Abby looked absolutely exhausted. “You look lovely.”

“Don't lie, love.”

“Well, you look tired but you still look lovely to me.”

Ditzy winced when he woke up and sat up. “Watch out, Abby, he's a sweet talker when he wants his own way.”

Lester gave Ditzy a supercilious look. “I seem to remember you asking me to do that.”

Abby raised an eyebrow. “Much as I'd love to hear all about it, I need to sleep.”

Lester felt Ditzy squeeze his arm and glanced at him, and on seeing his slight nod, nodded himself. “Abby. We don't mind you watching, if you want to.” He gave her a leer, “Or taking part?”

Abby swatted him. “I told you I wanted to see you two together. And taking part sounds even better.”

Lester's grin faded. “You did?”

Abby's grin faded too. “Oh, James. I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. It's just a reminded of what I've lost.” Lester shook his head at his own bitter tone. “And I should remember to be grateful for what I have. You two are worth any lost memories.”

Abby managed a smile as she ruffled Lester's hair. “Claudia asked if you wanted to drop in later this week?”

“At the ARC?” Lester swallowed hard. “I...”

“Please, James. They just want to see how you are. Everyone's been asking.”

Lester looked at his two hopeful lovers and sighed. “I suppose so.”

*****

Lester stepped into the ARC for the first time in months and stopped in his tracks. Abby and Ditzy grinned as they each took an arm and half-guided Lester into the atrium. The entire place had been decorated with 'Welcome Back, Sir James' banners. Lester looked absolutely amazed as a loud cheer sounded.

Abby grinned. “Welcome back, love.”

“I can't do this.”

“Yes you can, James. Miss Brown and Lorraine are going to help you.”

“Help me? Help me do what?”

“We know how much you want to come back here and we've arranged it all. Mr Harrison and Miss Brown have organised everything; and Moira is only a phone call away if you need her.”

Lester opened and closed his mouth a few times before he found his voice and asked incredulously, “I can come back here?”

Ditzy nodded. “Yes, love. Only for a few hours to start with, but as your strength builds up, you can go full time if you want.”

Lester looked from one to the other as if searching for something. “Seriously?”

“Everyone's agreed to help, James.”

Abby added, “And Claudia's told Nick to behave and Connor's been told to slow down and give you the chance to speak.”

Lester smiled. “Connor's been good to me.”

Abby snorted as she rolled her eyes, “I'm not sure I'd call marathon games of Scrabble or watching his endless DVDs that.”

“He's been teaching me extra words.”

“Mmmm, I'm not sure you'll have much use for 'Tardis', 'Jedi' or 'Cylon'. Come on, James, they're waiting.”

Lester resisted when Abby resumed tugging him forward when he realised just how many people were waiting for them – for him in the atrium.

“James?”

“I'll forget my words.”

Ditzy squeezed Lester's hand. “We'll be with you, love, every step of the way.”

Lester took a deep breath and nodded. “OK. I can do this.” His steps were slow as he entered the atrium, and he swallowed his fear. “Or I'll try, anyway.”


End file.
